Apple Releases Portable Electronic Sidewalk Inspired by Rabbi Michael Stepakoff’s New Book “The iPath” Satire, from our friends at Messianic Meow
Cupertino, CA — Apple Inc released a portable electronic moving sidewalk this week; the first of its kind on the market. The new “iPath,” can be carried in your pocket and expand to become a waterproof moving sidewalk. The iPath can be placed on both flat and uneven surfaces, including wet, frozen, or muddy terrains. In addition, the iPath can also act as a bridge over potholes, gaping crevices, and troubled water. The iPath comes in three sizes: six feet, eight feet, and 10 feet, and is available in two sleek colors: silver and metallic. The portable sidewalk borrows its name from the newest book by Messianic Rabbi Michael Stepakoff.
“I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t read the book, but the name is absolutely amazing,” Apple CEO, Tim Cook, said in a recent press conference. “I knew we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to create a product with the same name. I am pleased to announce we now have portable moving sidewalks available to the public. Have you ever been at the airport and just wanted to ride their moving sidewalks all day long? Well, now you can enjoy the magic of these in your own backyard! The iPath folds up to two inches and expands up to 10 feet long, depending on which model you purchase. We’re just trying to do our part to keep Americans lazy and I think we are succeeding! Also, I heard the book is pretty good too, so you should all probably read that. And so should I.”
The release of the Apple iPath comes just after the announcement of the Amazon Echo rival, the Apple HomePod, bringing up speculation that the iPath will be able to connect with the forthcoming HomePod to control the speed of the sidewalk. The iPath sidewalk is available now in your local Apple stores and you may purchase The iPath book by Rabbi Michael Stepakoff at
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