Jews for Jesus’ Secret Past and the Real Reason They Don’t Want You to Refer to the San Francisco Hospitality House as ‘the Ho House’ Satire, from our friends at Messianic Meow
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15 June 2017 Written by  The Messianic Meow

San Francisco, CA — Jewish Ministry organization, Jews for Jesus, has branches in various cities across the world and many of those locations have housing for their missionaries and out of town guests. Headquarter city, San Francisco, has the most notorious housing situation. Their Hospitality House has come to be known as ‘the Ho House,’ but Jews for Jesus wants everyone to stop calling it that, and you’ll never believe why.

We all know who founded Jews for Jesus, but is there someone missing from the story? The answer may surprise you. An anonymous JFJ missionary, who asked to just be referred to as “Streetlight,” confirmed that there was, in fact, another person involved that has intentionally been left out of the story.

The missing person, Jacob Hookman, was instrumental in the birth of Jews For Jesus, but would later be the first person to betray JFJ and their mission. Hookman had an intense vision for sailing the seas and ministering to Jews who were displaced on various islands throughout the world’s oceans. Hookman learned to sail so he could take his mission of ministering to Jews to the seas. He joined the Navy and quickly worked his way up the ranks to Captain. After leaving the Navy on an honorable discharge, Hookman changed his name to a less Jewish sounding name of James Hook, to make himself less obvious to any anti-Semites he might encounter during his travels. Captain James Hook left San Francisco on his boat, the Jolly Roger, promising Jews for Jesus he would bring back the donations he was gifted from church presentations.

Sadly, Captain Hook drank too much sea water and lost his mind and his way. Instead of ministering to Jews and singing Jesus loving Jewish folk music at churches, Captain Hook disappeared, sending only a letter to Moishe Rosen stating that he had become a pirate on some unknown island and was enjoying terrorizing little orphan boys and Indians and that he would not be returning.

Captain Hook did return to San Francisco one last time, however. His crew was obnoxious, and their “Land, ho!” exclamation upon arriving in San Francisco was so loud it could be heard from miles away. In true pirate fashion, Hook did, unfortunately, wind up stealing every penny he could find from Jews for Jesus, never to be seen or heard from again.

So, you see, kids, when you refer to the Hospitality House as ‘the Ho House,’ it reminds everyone of Captain Hook’s chant of ‘Land, Ho,’ and subsequent betrayal. The painful memories are too much for everyone to endure, so just stop calling it that, okay? Just stop.

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